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Tommie and I packed up our Mini Countryman on Saturday and headed out with our bikes to go ride 100 miles for Livestrong the next morning. I was a little concerned about my head cold, but figured that if I could ride the 70-miler last year on only one hour of sleep, I’d be fine to complete the full century with a cold — as long as I got some rest.

Like last year we booked a room at the Normandy Farm Hotel across from the starting line, but this time I was smart. I got us a room in one of the outer guest houses so that if there were another wedding in the building we wouldn’t hear the noise and could get some sleep.

At 10 p.m. we turned on some Law and Order and crawled into bed. At 11 the party started. There are four units in our guest house, and what sounded like a college dorm party was happening in the unit next to ours. Around midnight the party ended (after I walked around and saw beer cans everywhere and smelled cigarette smoke from the non-smoking room), and so I went to sleep.

Maybe 40 minutes later the party started back up again, but this time it sounded like it was just getting started. I won’t bore you with the details of the numerous calls to the front desk, the various visits by security, the promises to call the police, the discussions about moving us into a new room at 2 a.m., or the wedding party best man who apologized to me profusely.

Next morning: Tommie and I only got a couple of hours of sleep, I still had a head cold, and we headed out at 6:15 a.m. ready to ride in the FREEZING COLD summer morning.

In regards to the ride, the thing that Tommie and I prepared most for was the climb to Landis Store — a mile-long uphill climb. I got a bit nervous when I started up the climb (the signs that read “It’s one mile, and it’s ALL uphill” didn’t help) but about a third of the way up I found my rhythm and I was breathing easy. My legs burned a bit, but other than that it was really not so bad.

That was around mile 56. I lasted another 14 miles, and then I bonked. I actually bonked 13 miles later but Tommie pushed me to get to 70. Two hours of sleep + head cold = me not being able to ride 100 hilly miles.

Feeling so proud of myself for making Landis Store my bitch, I was not upset that I had to call it quits at 70 miles. Tom continued on by bike, and I hitched a ride with a SAG van.

While driving back to the finish line I asked the guys in the van if they knew whether Lance Armstrong rode. He had welcomed everyone at the start and said something about planning to ride the 100 miles, but he was really hungover after a crazy night. I hadn’t seen him on the course and wondered if he rode at all.

One guy responded, “Yeah. He only rode 45 miles though. Apparently he hooked up with some bridal party and drank with them all night.”

I laughed out loud. “Lance was partying with a bridal party all night?”

“Yeah, he said he saw there was a wedding at the hotel and asked to meet the bride and groom.”

So, there you have it. We’re pretty confident (given that Lance was staying at our hotel and there was only one bridal party) that Lance was at the party that kept us up all night. He may even be the reason the party started back up after it broke up the first time.

Let me tell you, if the security guards would have just said that Lance was in there, Tommie and I would have joined the party instead of begging them to let us sleep.

In the end, I did not ride the full century, but I did climb up to Landis Store like it was nothing, and I did get to cheer Tommie in through the finish line — which was amazing. And, I got a great story out of the deal.

Thanks once again to everyone for helping us raise more than $6,000 to pick a fight with cancer.

Live strong!

And, eff you, Cancer!

Doc: “Tracy, the mass that was on your pancreas two and a half years ago is still there.”

Me: “What mass?”

Yep. Five years ago almost to the day I learned that my doctors royally screwed up and left a tumor to grow on my pancreas. A few weeks later the mass was biopsied, and a couple weeks after that I learned that the tumor had metastasized to my liver and chest and that modern science had no way to put my brand of cancer into remission.

Back then I was a music student finishing up my last year of an undergraduate degree so that I could go on to earn a doctorate and teach music theory. I was overweight and weak with nausea and pain on most days.

Today, I’m 103 lbs. of pure muscle gearing up to ride a 100-mile bike ride over thousands of feet of elevation on Sunday, and I’m a professional writer.

Back then I cried when I heard a piece of music I loved because I thought in five years I wouldn’t be alive to teach that same piece to students of my own. Well, I was partially right. I’ve switched careers, so I will not be teaching that piece to students, but not only am I still alive, I am in the best shape of my life — a true athlete — with cancer.

On Sunday Tommie and I officially celebrate five years of health when we ride the Philadelphia Livestrong Challenge century. With the help of our friends and family, we’ve raised more than $6,000 to help pick a fight with cancer, and we’re ready to ride.

Thank you to everyone for your tremendous support, your love, and your friendship.

I cannot wait to cross the finish line on Sunday.

Eff you, cancer.

I learned this lesson the hard way by taking any drug my docs threw my way and inevitably suffering through a myriad of side effects that ranged from rashes to vomiting to hypoglycemia to weakness to disorientation (the last two put me in the emergency room, BTW). When I listen to my friends and read their Facebook posts, I realize that I’m among a small minority of people who heed Dr. Fuhrman’s warning. As I work to build my body into a fortress of health and diminish my dependence on medications, I see those around me rushing to refill their statins rather than grab a carrot.

Today the Washington Post has published an article that reveals the disconnect between medications’ safety and benefit claims and reality. The FDA is not doing its job in protecting us in its oversight of these drugs, and doctors are prescribing higher doses than are necessary — their profits grow with the size of the dose.

This should terrify you.

Next month Whole Life Times magazine is publishing an article I wrote on the lack of oversight from the FDA on cosmetic treatments like wrinkle fillers and Botox. I’m currently working on an article for them on the FDA’s lack of oversight on tattoo ink. See a pattern?

Let me sum all of this up: Just because a doctor says that a drug or a treatment will improve you and will be safe does not make it so. Just because the FDA says a drug or a treatment will improve you and will be safe does not make it so.

Pay attention to what you put into your body. Eat as many plant-based foods as possible to fuel your body with nutrients. Limit processed foods and chemicals. Strengthen your body with exercise rather than take pain killers. And take stock of your medications. Do you really need all the drugs you take? Could you lower your cholesterol with your diet rather than by popping a pill?

The man in the WaPo article lost his life because a nurse in the hospital gave him an unnecessary shot of an anemia medication before he left for home. Hours later he was dead.

All drugs are toxic. Does anyone care?

Well, I was partly right: I will not be teaching the sonata to anyone, but not because I’m too sick.

As many of you know, my interests shifted when I learned that I had cancer. My passion for music fizzled out, and I eventually left my graduate program in music theory. While my body grew healthier and stronger — despite tumors lingering on some vital organs — my work life stalled. I was too focused on my health to think about work.

Instead, I started writing.

At first I wrote because I had a crazy story to tell and finished a first draft of I Have Cancer. And I’ve Never Felt Better! Then little by little I started writing pieces about my healthcare journey for publications like Balanced Body Pilates COREterly e-newsletter, Physicians News Digest, and KevinMD.com.

I quickly realized that it wasn’t writing about my story that made me happy; it was simply the act of writing anything that did. And so I set out to become a professional freelance writer while also finishing and marketing my book.

The reason I haven’t been blogging very often here, is because I have been extremely busy writing for Washington Post Express and Whole Life Times magazine, in addition to wrapping up edits on the book so that we can launch it as an e-book this summer.

It was five years ago that my doctor wanted to send me back to the hospital for some new pancreas scans to see if he could figure out why I was in so much pain. I was certain the tests would reveal nothing and I’d be sent home with stronger pain killers, and then I’d crack open my musicology book or practice an aria for a voice lesson. Instead I walked into a new world that was at first terrifying but has ironically given me a richer, happier, and healthier new life.

It feels wonderful to be on a career path once again. It also feels wonderful knowing that freelancing allows me the flexibility to continue riding my bike and exercising every day if I want, maintaining my vegetable garden, managing my home, and cooking gobs of healthy plant-based meals.

I was a workaholic before my cancer diagnosis, and then I was stuck in a cancer funk not sure of what I wanted to be if and when I grew up. Now I’m just enjoying a boring, normal, quiet life with Tommie, our cats Briscoe and Curtiss, and our bikes.

So, while we’ve had a bit of a lull on the blog, there’s been a whole lot of work happening behind the scenes. You’ll be the first to know when the book is ready to launch, and I’ll continue to post articles I write, along with interesting articles I read, to Facebook and Twitter.

“Snobby Joes” from Veganomicon is the perfect blend of yummy and healthy. Using lentils instead of meat, this recipe looks, tastes, and feels like the sloppy joes I ate as a kid.

One note: The chili powder in this recipe gives the joes a bit of a kick. Try cutting it to one or two tablespoons if you don’t like spicy. You can always add more in later if you want.

What you need:

• 1 cup uncooked brown lentils, rinsed and drained
• 4 cups water
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 medium-sized yellow onion, cut into small dice
• 1 green bell pepper, seeded and cut into small dice
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 3 tablespoons chile powder (See note above.)
• 2 teaspoons dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 (8-ounce) can tomato sauce
• 1/4 cup tomato paste
• 2–3 tablespoons maple syrup (I used two.)
• 1 tablespoon prepared yellow mustard
• 4-6 buns, sliced in half horizontally

What to do:

1. Pour the lentils and water into a small saucepan. Cover and bring to a boil. Once the mixture is boiling, lower the heat and simmer for about 20 minutes, until the lentils are soft. Drain and set aside.
2. About 10 minutes before the lentils are done, preheat a medium-size saucepan over medium heat. Sauté the onion and pepper in the oil for about 7 minutes, until softened. Add the garlic and sauté for a minute more.
3. Stir in the cooked lentils, chili powder, oregano, and salt. Add the tomato sauce and tomato paste. Cook for about 10 minutes. Add the maple syrup to taste and the mustard, and heat through.
4. Turn off the heat and let the pot sit for about 10 minutes, so that the flavors can meld, or go ahead and eat immediately if you can’t wait.

The book says they like to serve these open faced; I’m a traditionalist. I like my sloppy joes cafeteria style served on a full bun and with some fries. In this case, I roasted some potato wedges with a bit of extra virgin olive oil, fresh dill, salt, and pepper.

Best. Fries. Ever.

Enjoy!

For the past four and a half years I have felt the pressure of perfection with each cancer scan. At first we expected that they’d show some growth, but when it never happened I felt like I would be seen as a failure if my cancer did grow. Well, Wednesday, for the first time since my diagnosis in 2007, we saw a little growth on the scans. A little growth. Very little. The way I see it, if we see this little growth every four to five years, I’m still way ahead in this chess-game-style battle against cancer.

I’ll admit though that I was shocked. Part of me thought that I had to start seeing cancer progression pretty soon — it’s been a long winning streak — but part of me held on to the hope that I could go indefinitely with no action. And yet when I heard the not-so-great news from my doctor, once again, crazy as it sounds, I felt a bit relieved. As with the Canes, I no longer had to strive for perfection anymore.

We were, as you’d expect, a bit bummed on our drive home from Hopkins, but then Tommie came up with a great idea: “Let’s go get those bike wheels today.” Brilliant! We had bounced around the idea of upgrading the wheels on our road bikes to Zipp 303s and what better time than right after bad news from the cancer center to do it.

These wheels are expensive — they cost more than most bikes– so we took them for a test drive before committing to buying them. If we couldn’t feel any major difference, it would not be worth the price.

Did we like the wheels, you ask? Holy. Crap. Riding on Zipp wheels was maybe the best thing to happen to me all year. OK. Tommie’s tumor shrinking gets top billing, but the wheels come in a close second. We went on a training ride yesterday, and I broke all my personal records on both flats and hills. I felt incredibly athletic and invincible. At midnight I was still beaming from such an athletic and fun ride. One of the perks of the wheels? Flying even faster downhill. Who needs roller coasters or zip lines when you have hills and a bike?

Lance Armstrong says “It’s not about the bike,” but I’ve got to say that to me, it IS about the bike. Scans can show tumors all they want, but if I continue to get faster and stronger on two wheels, I’ll know I’m healthy. I cannot WAIT to climb the dreaded hills of the Philly Livestrong Challenge in August to celebrate five years of health since my cancer diagnosis. 100 miles over 8,000 feet of climb. Peace of cake.

Live strong, Friends! I know I will.

Oh, and eff you, Cancer.

Tis the season to be scanning! Last month Tommie and I drove down to UVA for follow-up brain scans to see how his tumor, Malfoy, was doing. It was the first time we’d take a look since he was diagnosed in the fall. And, as hoped, Malfoy was the half the size. The doctor also figured a way to titrate Tommie’s medication so that he could continue to fight the tumor without feeling side effects, and my hubby is now starting to experience that superhuman strength I discovered when we took the bastard primary tumor off of my pancreas. Huzzah!

I have a couple theories on why I’m not worried about my scans next week. First, I feel amazing. You wouldn’t believe the crazy sh-t my trainer James has me do in the gym. I can do everything he throws at me, and I leave feeling energized. How sick can I be if I can do thirty-six pushups with my feet on a large ball and climb hills on a spinner bike between sets?

My other thought is that by fully making the switch from musician to writer I’ve taken away the last link to the time I was diagnosed with cancer. Tommie and I went to see the musical Hairspray in January, and I literally bawled the entire time. Music is like a gateway drug to that horrible Cancer World, because I was immersed in music when I was immersed in cancer. So, at least for now, Music is dead to me. Pfft. I spit on it!

Normally about a week or so ago I would have started fretting. I would have not been able to do anything productive other than play Sudoku. But the scanxiety hasn’t come. I sent off an article and a side bar to the editor of Whole Life Times on Wednesday, and I’m working on two articles with side bars for the Washington Post Express. I’m mentally sharp, and I’m motivated to research and write despite looming scans next week.

One doctor said that he treats patients, not scans. No matter what the scans show next week, how sick can I be? I’ve said it before, but it remains true: I’ve never felt better! I’ll deal with whatever the doc tells me when I get the results on Wednesday. Then I’ll go back to the gym Thursday morning and tackle whatever insane challenge James throws my way with a maniacal smile on my face. Creepy, but true.

From the cookbook Vegan Planet by Robin Robertson, the “Tuscan White Bean and Fennel Stew” is an absolute winner. Tommie and I were both highly disappointed last night when we realized we were full and could not fit another spoonful into our bellies. I knew I had to share it with you. Enjoy!

What you’ll need:

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 large yellow onion, chopped
• 2 medium-sized carrots, halved lengthwise and cut into 1/4″ thick half-moons
• 2 garlic cloves
• 1 large fennel bulb, trimmed and diced
• 1/2 cup dry white wine
• 1 1/2 cups Vegetable Stock
• 1 pound small red potatoes, unpeeled and quartered
• 1 14.5-ounce can diced tomatoes, undrained
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 2 small zucchini, cut into 1/4″ thick rounds
• 1 1/2 cups cooked or one 15-ounce can cannellini or other white beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 tablespoon minced orange zest (from one medium to large orange)
• 2 teaspoons minced fresh rosemary leaves or 1 teaspoon dried (I always recommend fresh!!!)

What to do:

1. Heat the olive oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat until shimmering. Add the onion and carrots, cover, and cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook, stirring for 30 seconds. Add the fennel and wine and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium and simmer, uncovered and stirring, until the wine is reduced by one half, about 5 minutes. Add the stock, potatoes, tomatoes and juice, and salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to low and simmer, stirring occasionally, until the potatoes soften, about 20 minutes.
2. Add the zucchini and beans. Simmer until the ingredients are tender and the desired consistency is achieved, about 15 minutes. If a thicker stew is desired, puree 1 cup of the stew in a blender or food processor and stir back into the pot. (I used an immersion blender and liked the consistency.)
3. A few minutes before serving, stir in the orange zest and rosemary. Serve hot.

Serves 4 to 6

What?

Why would anyone ever want to find out from a website how long they might have left to live? Frankly, I find it irresponsible for CTCA to post this information.

Same Organ Different Cancer

We’ve learned that different types of tumors can form on the same organ. For instance, I have a slow-growing type of cancer that originated on my pancreas. In a general sense, I have pancreatic cancer. But, when the medical community talks about “pancreatic cancer,” they are referring to adenocarcinoma, which is far more aggressive than my neuroendocrine cancer. If I didn’t know that there was a difference, and I visited the CTCA’s survival rates page, I would be devastated, and I’d probably press for an unnecessarily toxic treatment. Four and a half years since my diagnosis, I have not undergone chemotherapy or radiation and my tumors have not grown at all. How much damage might I have done to my body had I gone nuclear on the tumors rather than watching and waiting?

Survival Rates Are Generic

Published survival rates don’t generally take into account demographics. Twenty-five-year-old patients are included in the same data set as octogenarians. But would a young, strong, otherwise healthy person with cancer really have the same survival rate as a frail elderly person? Maybe, maybe not. The point is that the survival rates can give a generic snapshot of someone’s chances, but each person and each tumor is different. Even within the same brand of cancer there are more and less aggressive varieties.

Obtain Information With Caution

I believe that as patients we need to arm ourselves with as much information as possible, and so research on the internet is incredibly useful. Sometimes though, we’re better off talking through the research with a doctor. When you read something like survival rates on the web, make sure you understand the context in which the stats are written.

CTCA states that they are one of the first cancer centers to provide survival rates to their patients on their website. Perhaps the other cancer centers believe that numbers with as much gray area as these stats are better off presented in context to patients in person — if at all.